At the Adam Stafford album launch at The Wee Red Bar last night I bumped into RM Hubbert. This is not the start of a joke, although my favourite thing to say in 1998 was ‘I bumped into Richard Ashcroft the other day’.
Moving on, if you’re called RM Hubbert, chances are that friends will call you ‘Hubbie’ which is a little too familiar for an impromptu introduction to a stranger unless you’re talking to, perhaps, a cat like this one.
Ralph (M Hubbert) the cat
Bearing in mind that I don’t know him, once I made it past his security, I addressed Mr RM Hubbert a bit like this: Hello Mr Hubbiert sir, then, with awkwardness passed, I fired words at him… congratulations on the award… then on and on and on… VoxBox, VoxBox… Your CDs your CDs… we direct people to the Chemikal Underground website, yes we do yes we do… we have a poster poster… really cheap at a fiver fiver… vinyl vinyl… CDs CDs… then I offered my hand for him to rub his face against. Finally, and as if to prove that it is better to remain silent and be thought an idiot than to open your mouth and prove that you really are one:
‘Also if you donate clothing to charity it’s much better to bring them into the charity shop and not leave them in a bag outside. This is because the charity gets more money that way. It’s through something, ah bugger… I can remember what it’s called but the charity gets your tax or something something. …your tax on the value of the donation… oh what’s it called… you’ve not paid the money yourself but you put your postcode on a form… you know… it’s called… er it’s on the tip of my tongue… and if you’re a taxpayer…
…
…anyway, you shouldn’t leave your stuff outside a charity shop.’
So that was that. I’m sure he’ll be on the blower to Aiden Moffat asking for a rewrite of ‘Car Song’ today. (Impatient folk should fast-forward to 2.40)
It’s funny how some things just stick in your mind and lots of talented people were in Edinburgh to see lots of talented people perform. We’re very lucky just now. What’s another word for talented? And how might a Glaswegian pronounce that?… It’s on the tip of my tongue…
P.S. Siobhan Wilson, who was supporting, is incredible. http://siobhanwilson.bandcamp.com/